In her book, The Power of Meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith writes:
As much as we might wish, none of us will be able to go through life without some kind of suffering. (Emily Esfahani Smith, The Power of Meaning, New York, NY: Crown, 2017, 185.)
Smith does not write from a Christian perspective but her book contains much truth, including the above statement that comes in a section on resilience. At age 62, and with all I have gone through, I fully concur with Smith and wonder why nobody told me this much earlier in life. Which is why Graceworks was glad to be able to organise a talk on “Resilience in Life and Ministry” in partnership with our friends, the Bethesda Frankel Estate Church, two nights ago (9th May 2017). We had the privilege of having Tony Horsfall address us.
Listening to Tony, I felt again that teaching on resilience should be compulsory teaching in Life 101 for Christian and non-Christian alike. Growing up in a (lower) middle-class family in a middle-class church, it was assumed that if you did all the right things, trusted God, worked hard, etc., you would be spared the worst pains of life. This is a lie, as I discovered when my first wife died of cancer. Indeed, “none of us will be able to go through life without some kind of suffering”. Therefore we need to develop resilience.
Tony gave us some key points on how we could develop resilience. In the context of a lecture, all he could do was to give us an overview. We look forward to a book and a seminar he intends to do later. A number of things he said echoed my own convictions.
He reminded us “resilient people have a sense of meaning and purpose, and a theology of suffering”. The night before we discovered that my first wife had cancer, I was doing my quiet time in the book of Job. I had read Job many times before but that night the Lord seemed to personalise the book for me in a way that had never happened before. It was a book that was to provide a framework for the dark days that were to follow. From Job, I learnt, among other things:
- To faithfully follow God is no guarantee that we will not suffer tragedy this side of heaven.
- God has a reason for all He does though He may not always tell us the reason.
- God is sovereign and nothing happens without His permission.
- God is all knowing and all wise and I must trust Him in my pain, including times when I do not understand the “whys” of my pain.
- God will make all things right in the end. (For this we need to go beyond Job and look at Revelation, chapters 21 and 22.)
These were hard and inconvenient truths that did not soften the blows I received but they provided a framework for me to carry on. It is so vital then that followers of Jesus have a healthy biblical worldview of life, for life.
Another thing that Tony said was “resilient people nurture supportive friendships and receive help from others”. I look back at my life and see all the key friends the Lord brought into my life. They were His “angels”, His messengers of grace who helped me stave off despair and who helped me to press on and not give up. The importance of friends is now a key platform of my life and ministry, and a matter of deep concern as I look at the loneliness of modern society, including many who are followers of Jesus.
We look forward to the new heavens and the new earth, a time and place where there will be: “no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” (Revelation 21:4b NIV). Till then, let us help each other finish our race. Let us help each other develop the resilience we all need to survive, and indeed thrive if possible, in the realities of life this side of heaven.