Brothers, we hear you. Fathering is hard work, but you’re willing to get your hands dirty. You want to be more involved with your kids, but your work schedule is unforgiving. Parenting theories abound, but who has the time to read them all?
The Modern-Day Dad takes an honest and foundational look at fathering in Asian societies. Passionately written by Parcsen Loke, who has influenced many Singaporean fathers through coaching, training, and counselling, it is a compelling read for modern dads of all ages.
Backed up by research and interspersed with Parcsen’s personal stories, you’ll find tips to father effectively, despite the many roles you juggle as a 21st-century dad.
A Book for the Modern-Day Dad
PART 1: YOU’RE A FATHER
The Many Roles We Juggle
The Good We Bring
A Father’s Wound
The Benefits of Stay-at-Home Parenting
The Challenging First Weeks
PART 2: ENGAGING YOUR CHILD
Read With Me
The Magic of Play
Parent As Teacher
PART 3: DISCIPLINING YOUR CHILD
Parents Are Humans Too
Creating a Family Culture
PART 4: NURTURING YOUR CHILD
4 Ways to Nurture Your Child
Childhood Emotional Neglect
Be an Emotion Coach
It’s All About Relationship
The Modern-Day Dad is the first book that I have come across that is written by a Singaporean father to help fathers to be better fathers. It is very well-researched and comes with many practical examples to help fathers apply evidence-based principles and tools in their day-to-day fathering role. Whether you are a father who needs help with being a father, or a good father who wants to do even better, you will find this book written by Parcsen a godsend. Mothers too can benefit from this rich resource. The greatest beneficiaries are our children—the more fathers who read and use the tips in this book, the more children shall be blessed.
— Jason Wong, Founder, Dads for Life
Attention to all fathers! This unique, reader-friendly book invites you to learn (and re-learn), reflect, and be motivated to know that it is never too late to be an involved father. Passionately written by Parcsen Loke, who has played a significant role in influencing fathers in Singapore through coaching, training, and counselling, it is a compelling read for modern Asian fathers of all ages. What’s more, the practical tips on parenting and understanding our children are so relevant to Asian societies today and are equally invaluable for all mothers (and grandparents) too. It is never too late to be an involved parent.
— Associate Professor Thang Leng Leng, Co-director, Next Age Institute, National University of Singapore
This easy-to-read book is a must for couples planning to have children or parents of children. In Parcsen’s easy style, he explores the journey that men must take to become fathers. His personal stories, interspersed with research, support the narrative that fathering is hard work and takes tremendous commitment, awareness, reflection, and practice. Yet it is so critical to the outcome of children. It starts with unpacking your relationship with your own father, and strengthening your relationship with your partner, because that is what lays the foundation of good fathering. Parcsen then shares tips on how to build your confidence as a father, how to engage and shape your relationship with your children, recognising that you will make mistakes but you will grow from them. This book is written for fathers but it is also a must-read for partners of men, for fathering is an art, one that needs the nurturance of your spouse.
— Sudha Nair, Executive Director, PAVE Integrated Services for Individual and Family Protection Specialist Centre
Locally contextualised yet flavoured with insights from international resources, Parcsen has put together a resource which is not just timely for the Singapore fathers’ community but also one filled with gems from around the world. His personal life story strengthens the realism to the sharing he expounds in the book. Reading as a father of 22 years, I still find many precious tips on fathering, which I wish I had known before. Kudos to Parcsen and congratulations to the Singapore fathering community for having this additional golden resource.
— David Ang, Chairman, Board of Family Life, Chinese Annual Conference, The Methodist Church of Singapore; Founding and Core Team Member, Elijah7000
This book is timely, coming at the height of the fathering movement in Singapore. Rarely do you find a book that interweaves the science and the art of fathering into one coherent piece that is contextually relevant to Asian societies. Apart from offering very practical tips, Parcsen also shares vulnerably from his own life’s struggles and breakthroughs which makes the reading very personable and relatable. I would strongly recommend this book as a source of hope and a resource of ideas to all fathers (and mothers too)—whether thriving, struggling, or aspiring.
— Elijah Sim, Married father of two children; Senior Therapist, Counselling and Care Centre
Exhaustively researched, and incorporating the author’s extensive experience as pastor, trainer, and coach, the book provides not just the “how” but also the “why” of good fathering practices. It includes a liberal sprinkling of anecdotes, including the author’s own wonderful testimony of
healing from childhood father wounds. One may have differing opinions on some of the author’s views (on spanking, for example), but overall it is a treasure trove. This labour of love from the author will be a blessing for any father, especially those in the early stages of their fathering journey.
— Lee Boon Chuan, Elijah7000 Ministry, Cornerstone Community Church