Today (October 31) is Halloween and Deepavali. It is also son Andrew’s birthday. I want to wish him Happy Birthday by pointing out one of his strengths — his capacity and commitment to make friends with all sorts of people; people of different races, different social backgrounds, different cultures, different ages, men and women, etc. If you follow him on IG you can see some evidence of this.
 
When he was in high school, Andrew had many Malay friends. This is a racial connection that cannot be taken for granted in Malaysia. I recall asking one of his Malay friends why some elements of Malay society still refer to Malaysian Chinese as “pendatang”, i.e. foreigners and migrants. This rankled with Chinese, Indians and others who grew up in Malaysia and who see ourselves as full-fledged citizens, not migrants and definitely not foreigners. His friend said that he too didn’t understand this practice. He said that the term may have applied to the first generation that came to settle down in Malaysia, but it should not apply to the subsequent generations who were born and who grew up in Malaysia. But there are still many who aspire to political power by an approach of dividing and conquering.
 
I recall this exchange in light of the resurgence of interracial tensions in Malaysia. I don’t think that we will and I pray that we do not go back to the violent interracial conflict of May 13, 1969. All sides of any racial conflict have their own grievances. Many turn to institutions for justice — the courts, parliament, elected leaders, etc. The way society is structured means this is expected, but it has given us mixed results.
 
I often feel that the way forward in our journey to a society where the different races all feel at home has to include a grassroots initiative where we are all committed to making friends with folks of different races. Friendships that go beyond a superficial acknowledgement of other ethnicities, to a genuine walking together where we get to know each other and where we share our joys and our sorrows. We are then open to both giving and receiving help. Challenging as it may be, we need to reach a starting point where we embrace our common humanity.
 
Am I too idealistic? Too much of a romantic? Probably. But if we love our nation surely we can do more to build bridges of friendship instead of yelling at each other behind our walls.
 
I recall there was a time when I was back in Penang. I had given someone a ride to the airport. When I walked back to the carpark to get my car to drive home, I discovered that someone had parked a car blocking the only way out of the carpark. Soon a group of angry people whose cars had been blocked had gathered to share our frustration and to decide what we should do. I took down the number of the car and asked the airport authorities to announce the need for the driver of the car to remove it. No one came forward.
 
In the end, the disgruntled drivers group decided that we would physically move the vehicle. This was tough not only because of the weight of the car but because the hand brake was on. We gave it a go anyway. A group of us, Malays, Chinese, Indians (the main racial groups in Semenanjung — West Malaysia), huffed and puffed and we managed to move the car, clearing the way for other cars to go out.
 
When we succeeded, it was smiles and high fives all round. As we drove past each other, we smiled and waved, different races now connected by the sharing and solving of a common problem.
 
Today, we remember that true monsters are often human ones and that we all desire light to overcome darkness. For those who want to share Christ in today’s world, we need to reach out in authentic friendship. We know that in the end only God can help us do that. In the meantime, we want to learn from the Andrews among us.