In my last visit to Petaling Jaya (Malaysia) I met up with an old college friend. We had not met up in person since college, about 48 years ago, though we had kept in touch over social media. We had both stayed in King Edward 7th Hall (KE Hall), a residential college for those in the health sciences and for engineers. The friendships that were forged in our life together in the Hall remained with us long after we had finished our time in university.
So, on a hot afternoon, in a mamak cafe in Subang Jaya, we caught up. We shared stories of our time in college and our life since. At this stage of my life, I enjoy such catch-ups very much. There was a point in the conversation when I went quiet. That was when my friend told me that one of my dental school seniors, Marcel Fernandez, had passed away during the Covid-19 pandemic.
Marcel was the senior student tasked with helping me orientate to life in college. He was my senior gentleman. I was his “freshie” (freshman). He was kind, had a sense of humour, and took his orientation job seriously. One of the highlights of the orientation period was a fancy-dress competition. With the help of some of the lady seniors, he dressed me up as a woman. This was a more innocent time when transgender issues were hardly mentioned. I remember I was emotionally very resistant to dressing up as a woman, but in the end I obeyed my senior. Marcel also gave me a piece of advice. He said that when I was parading, to make sure I kissed the Hall president, Prabakaran, a medical senior, on the forehead. (He had a lot of forehead.) I did, and I won. I will not admit or deny that there are pictures.
Marcel took five years to complete his dental degree. It is a four-year degree, but he had some difficulties in his final year that led to his needing to take another year. But it is what happened after he graduated that is significant. He built a very successful dental practice and had a number of clinics under him. Those of us who knew him knew he was an excellent dentist and that people “fail” academically for any number of reasons.
I often mentioned Marcel’s story when I was trying to encourage dental, medical, etc., students who were facing their final professional exams. Or when I was trying to encourage those who had to repeat some papers, or even a year of extra studies. Of course it is very disappointing to need more time to graduate, especially if most of your friends have passed; and it would involve more expenses too. But Marcel’s story is a reminder that academic struggles in school do not mean professional failure later. In fact, the extra time in school could result in a better mastery of professional skills.
To be able to respond to academic failure with hope takes a certain level of maturity. Followers of Christ can cling on to Romans 8:28 as a solid promise from God that He is at work in our lives, even in our “failures”, if our hearts are focused on God and His Kingdom. I recall the deep disappointment I felt when I failed to get a place in my first choice for my seminary studies. Regent College was my second choice. In retrospect in was God’s first choice. The nurturing I received at Regent prepared me for the demands of life and ministry that were to come in the years after.
So, thank you Marcel, for showing us how to respond to “failure”. And I guess you will be orientating me when I get to where you are.
