He was already very weak when I visited him in hospital. But true to character he was more concerned for me than for himself. He passionately stated his support for my ministry and said he wanted get me to preach in his church.Pastor Prem got his wish. I had the privilege of sharing from the pulpit at his wake. I am grateful that his church gave me the privilege of honouring him from the pulpit.
I first met Prem when I joined Georgetown Baptist Church in the ’70s. I was in high school. He was a young engineer and the youth leader. He encouraged a young believer. He has been encouraging me ever since.
He encouraged me in many ways. His most powerful encouragement was the example of his life. He gave himself wholeheartedly to God and to His Kingdom. This was not a man who followed Christ half-heartedly. He was utterly serious about his faith and his responsibilities as a follower of Jesus.
And so when a prophecy came that God was calling him to move from engineering to serve as a pastor full time, he was scared precisely because he took the call seriously. And because the call was from the Lord it resurfaced many times and in many places. And so he obeyed.
There was to be no easy initiation to the pastorate. God called him to a tough church. But he went in obedience. Of course he did. This was Prem.
His agenda was clear. He would love all, even those who attacked him and called his integrity into question. And he would lead the church into the ways of God, into unity and revival and service.
And as God usually does, He used the obedience and faithfulness of His servant to do great and wonderful things. The church experienced significant growth in maturity and ministry. (They were at the forefront of the Penang Christian response to the Tsunami of 2004.) They began to dream big dreams in Christ. The best was yet to come.
Then Prem was found to be afflicted with leukemia.
What followed were many months of courageous battling with the killer disease where profound faith was exercised. Prayers were offered. The best medical care was sought. There were prophecies of miraculous healing.
Of course God would heal him. He was a faithful servant. His work was not yet finished. And he had a wife, and two daughters in college, whom he loved very much and who loved him and depended on him. Of course he would be healed.
But he was not. He died yesterday (December 26th 2006). I miss him terribly. Others miss him even more. We are shaken and confused. And openly or quietly we ask “why?”
I think it is right to bring this question to God’s door. I do not want to imply for a minute that it was the cancer or Satan who killed him. If they were involved they were at best bit players. But life and death is finally in the hands of God. He makes the final judgment calls.
God could easily have healed Prem at any time. He has done it before. But He didn’t do it this time. He didn’t respond to the desperate cries of a wife and two daughters. He was seemingly deaf to the prayers of many saints from all around the world.
God makes it brutally clear yet again that He is God. He is a free agent. He does what he does. And there are many times He does not show us the logic of His working.He is not obliged to. And as we bow again in the face of mystery, we hear a question that we have heard before and we will hear again: “Do you trust Me enough?”
It is a question that is predicated on our knowledge of His character. God has revealed enough of Himself to let us know that He is a God who is all-loving, all-sovereign, and all-wise, a God who never makes mistakes. And as Paul asks:
“Indeed, he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32 NET)
It’s just that the “all things” sometimes make no sense at all.
It made no sense for Jesus not to have rushed to the side of Lazarus to prevent his death (John 11:1-43). But Jesus allowed his friend to die. As the onlookers commented: “This is the man who caused the blind man to see! Couldn’t he have done something to keep Lazarus from dying?” (John 4:37 NET). We ask the same question about Prem. And for both Lazarus and Prem, Jesus chose not to prevent their dying.
We know that Lazarus experienced a miraculous calling back from the dead. But already Jesus was using the incident to point towards a more permanent resurrection, one that He Himself would demonstrate in His own death and resurrection.
And so we are reminded that the final resolution of the questions of this life lie outside this life and await the return of Jesus. This is God’s clear promise:
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth had ceased to exist, and the sea existed no more. And I saw the holy city – the new Jerusalem – descending out of heaven from God, made ready like a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: ‘Look! The residence of God is among human
beings. He will live among them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist anymore – or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist.'” (Revelation 21:1-4 NET)
In the new heaven and the new earth there will be no more death and no more tears. In this life there continue to be death and tears and mysteries and the need for faith. And the call to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)
So today we weep.
But we weep in hope and anticipation.
For Prem.
For all of us.
Come Lord Jesus.
Your brother,
Soo-Inn Tan