She was on the organising committee and working hard at the conference we were a part of. I happened to be walking by and asked, “How are you?”. She began to tear. There were people around and the event was starting so we never got to continue the conversation. I was a bit concerned so I later PMed her to ask if she was ok. I asked if any of the participants had been nasty to her. She said “no”. Everyone had been very appreciative of her work. She was just “very, very tired”. I encouraged her to make sure she had adequate rest after the conference.
I was surprised when she messaged a few days later and shared that she realised there was more going on when she teared. She had come to the conference prepared to work hard. She was thinking of her work and the needs of the participants. She had switched off any concerns for herself and her welfare. She was not prepared for someone to ask after her and her welfare. The simple query “How are you?” caught her by surprise and the tears were her reaction.
Interestingly, one of the things I had shared at the conference was the constant need to remind ourselves that we are children of God and that God loves us for who we are and not because we work hard enough to warrant His love. I reflected on my colleague’s reaction and wondered afresh how much I needed to apply this truth to my own life. I suspect those of us who are committed and serious about our work are most likely to forget God and our own hearts.
Maybe we need to start a new revolution where we regularly ask each other “How are you?”. The thing is, the query must come from a heart that is genuinely concerned. We can’t fake this. Maybe at my chapter of life I have more bandwidth to play the caring uncle/grandpa role. But we all need to care and to be cared for. It is a fundamental part of our humanity. How are you?