I had breakfast with a dear friend a few days ago. He is about 10 years my junior. He said he struggled with fatigue because of the many duties he had and that he took longer to recover from the things he had to do. I said that sounded exactly like me.
We both came to the realisation that we now have fewer days left in our lives. Therefore, we need to be clearer as to what life we need to put in our days. I said, one day we won’t show up anymore, so we should be bolder in what to say no to and what to say yes to at this chapter of our lives. In my ongoing reflection and prayers, I think I should be focusing on three things.
Listening
As I look at my calendar, I note that there are many who just want to meet up to hang out. Many are looking for a safe friend who will create space for them to share what is on their hearts. This is a ministry of spiritual accompaniment. I do not have much formal training in spiritual direction, but I give my ears and my heart and my care. Often, I have no solutions for the things my friends are struggling with. We listen to the Lord together. But being older I sometimes can volunteer perspectives for my friends to consider.
I notice that those who want this ministry of listening come from all generations, from young adults to my peers and those older. This is truly a ministry of spiritual friendship. One thing though. Unlike a formal counselling consult, you can’t charge people for these meet ups. You can’t charge for friendship. Hence those of you who are financially sponsoring my work help me to continue to do this. I hope that others will also see the importance of this work and help as well.
Third Age
Bernice has always been concerned for the needs of the elderly. We both had parents who grappled with dementia and Parkinson’s and know first-hand the challenge of caring for those in the later chapters of life. The scene for this demographic is changing rapidly. In Singapore we are blessed with really good healthcare. Many will live longer, and a large proportion of these people will be in good health. Already, one in five in Singapore is 65 and above, and that percentage will continue to grow.
I am growing in the conviction that we need to do much more work to help folks in their third age, i.e. sixty and above, find meaning. The church is very aware of the need to connect with our young, and that is correct. But there is not nearly enough work done for ministry to seniors. Some will have serious medical needs, like dementia and Parkinson’s. We must promise that we will do our best by them. More and more will be healthy and live long lives. How will we help them live their best lives? How do we do evangelism and discipleship for Third Agers? I hope to do more reflection on this in the years ahead. After all I will also be thinking about my own life.
Bridge-building
The third area I want to invest my life in is bridge-building. Actually, what I should say is that I want to continue doing this. One key Graceworks initiative in recent times has been our Generations Project. Headed by our colleague Wei Hao, we have sought to understand how Christians of different generations in Singapore view the Christian faith and the church. Many are now using our findings. But beyond conceptual understanding there is the need for different generations to actually relate to each other.
I am glad that I can connect with my peers, the Boomers, but also that I am accepted by those younger. In a recent meeting, a Gen Z person said that I was a good boomer—a goomer. Therefore, I feel, and many have affirmed this—that though I will pay more attention to seniors, I can’t stop connecting to those younger. I need to continue to stand in the gap and help older and younger Christians connect; to continue to try to be a bridge-builder between the generations.
I recently wrote that I will no longer be taking on new church camps. I will be investing more time in listening, Third Age, and bridge-building ministries. Would really appreciate your support in encouragement, prayer, and financial sponsorship. How about you? Whatever stage of life you may be in, how are you putting life in your days?