I first came to Regent/Vancouver in 1981 to begin my theological studies. Bernice and I last came here about seven years ago. We are back again but this time it feels different. I can guess why. Many of my faculty friends have passed on. Here are a few.
- James Houston. We had hoped to catch him before he went home to the Lord, but it was not to be.
- James (Jim) and Kit Packer.
- Don Lewis.
- Laurel and Ward Gasque.
I miss them terribly. Of course I learnt so much from them. But I realise that I miss them so much because they had all become dear friends.
Don Lewis was my church history lecturer. Once, I was coming back from a conference and was very sick. He got me from the airport and took me to a doctor. Then he gave me a ride home. I am sure that was not in his teaching job description. But that was what a friend would do.
Jim and Kit Packer extended their friendship to us over the years. Once, when I was in transit from Vancouver to Toronto, they let me stay in their home. Through the years, whenever Bernice and I were in Vancouver they would receive us warmly in their home and we would have such great conversations. Jim startled me once when he asked me to pray for him. I assumed that this was how they treated all their students. I was corrected by one of them, though. He said he had called the Packers to ask for time with them but that never happened. I felt both embarrassed and grateful. We had received the gift of their friendship.
Ward Gasque was my ThM thesis supervisor. He became a very dear friend and mentor. We were also blessed by our friendship with Laurel and their daughter Michelle. They blessed us with generous love—their time, their money, and their influence. As Ward would say, he went to bat for me on many occasions, often at key moments in my graduate studies and my ministry. He would always chide me when he felt I talked too much about my failures. When Ward passed on, we maintained our links with Laurel and Michelle. Now Laurel, too, has passed on.
Jim Houston would sometimes confuse me with Soo Ann, a senior Singaporean scholar who was also a friend of Regent’s. But there was no confusing his love and encouragement for us. He wrote a very generous Foreword for one of my books. From him I learnt the centrality of friendship in Christian spirituality. I sometimes say that I practice Houstonian spirituality, expressed in friendship with God and friendship with others.
So here we are, back in Vancouver again, but our friends are no longer here. They have gone ahead. We miss them terribly. We are grateful for the gift of their friendship. We honour their memories. And we try to pass forward what we received from them—we try to be caring friends to those in our lives.
Recently, I read an excellent summary of friendship:
In a recent book on friendship, the philosopher A. C. Grayling begins by asserting, “The highest and finest of all human relationships is, arguably friendship.” To this way of thinking, friendship is a good given for human flourishing. The experience of mutual love, the delight which a friend feels for the well-being of the other, the desire to seek their good and their happiness—all this makes friendship a virtue, something that builds character, creates meaning, and generates hope. As a virtue, friendship is universal; it is not exclusive regarding race, ethnicity, gender, age, social status, ability, or sexual identity. By their very nature, friendships are, it is true, preferential. But they flourish in an ethos of freedom. A friend comes to aid and rescue a friend in difficulty, without regard to circumstances or personal cost. Friends encourage and empower one another to fulfil their potential. Most would agree that Aristotle was right when he said, “For without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” [1]
As we journey on in our sabbatical, we continue to be committed to the mission of Graceworks, to promote spiritual friendship in church and society. I am also taking the opportunity to look at my own mission statement afresh; something to guide me for the years ahead. I was thinking of something like:
“To encourage people through intentional friendship and empathetic preaching.”
Why this commitment to friendship? Because we have been blessed by our friends and want to pass it forward as best we can. As Jesus said:
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)
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[1] John A. Vissers, Friendship With Christ (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2026), 1.