“You were one of my mentors.”
Someone said that to me recently. I was surprised. We had worked together about 30 years ago, at a very difficult time in my life. He and the other leaders of the organisation I worked with, tried their best to help me through that tough time. But grief and broken marriages were all new to us and we were all trying our best to navigate through very new and unfamiliar territory. Often, I felt my leaders didn’t understand me and I lashed out in anger at them. The brother who said I was one of his mentors was one recipient of my explosive anger.
I look back to those days with regret and shame. I thank God that I have had the opportunity to confess and to apologise to my friends. They were all gracious, forgave me, and kind enough to say that none of us knew what to do then. One of the life tasks I have at this chapter of life is to go to people I have hurt in the past and apologise. Unfortunately, some of them have already passed away but I hope the Lord accepts the intent of my heart.
Still, I was surprised that this brother saw me as a mentor. Maybe not all my interactions were angry. Maybe there were good moments when we journeyed together. I guess I remember the moments that were most intense and the moments I regret. I need to remember the good as well as the bad moments.
My affirming friend gave me one instance of mentoring that really helped him. He had attended a workshop I did on “discovering your personal life mission”. The personal life mission he crafted that day guided him through his adult life. When I heard this I was blown away. I felt so good and so grateful. I quoted this incident to a class on mentoring that I am teaching.
So much of mentoring is an act of faith. We sow in faith but we may not see the harvest in our lifetime, though I believe we will know them in the life to come. But once in a while the Lord lets you see the fruit of your labours in this life. Thank you, Lord. And thank you my friend for the gift of that feedback. And for forgiving me.
