The numbers of those 65 and above are rising in many countries. This is certainly true of Malaysia and Singapore. The church must reflect carefully on how we can help third agers (60 and above) live their best lives. As I suggested in my previous article, we begin by remembering that Third Agers are human and share the needs of all human beings. In our last article, we looked at our needs for community and for purpose. We will look at two more.
The need for healing
To have reached the age of 60 is to have lived 60 years in a fallen world. We will all have received wounds of various sorts. I am not speaking about physical wounds but about emotional and spiritual wounds. Here are a few examples.
Some of us have been hurt unfairly by others. We have been betrayed by people or by institutions. And the deepest wounds come from those nearest to us. We know Christ expects us to forgive. Sometimes this is very hard. We will surely need the help of the Holy Spirit. But it is a shame if we have to carry this anger to the grave. The Third Age is the time to forgive.
Sometimes it is we who have wronged others. Or we have made mistakes, maybe major ones. We have been carrying guilt for a long time. We worship a God who invites us to bring our sins and failures to Him. He wants to forgive us and give us a fresh start. We don’t have to carry our guilt to the grave. We can bring our guilt to the Lord and to His Cross.
We may have to do our part by asking forgiveness from those we have hurt. People may or may not respond with grace to our apologies. But we do our part. If restitution has to be made, we do what we can. But let us lighten our life baggage by dealing with our guilt.
Then there is regret. There were major decisions we made in our lives which in retrospect turned out to be wrong ones. This may be decisions about studies, marriage, work, etc.; the big things.
Of course hindsight is always 20/20. We often do not know how things will unfold when we make our decisions. But sometimes we are haunted by regret because of certain decisions we made. We need to remember that God is bigger than our mistakes. We claim Romans 8:28. We bring our mistakes, real or imagined, to a God who can and does bring good out of bad. In doing so we surrender our regret.
Anger, guilt, and regret are but three of various wounds we carry into the later stages of our life. But we do not need to carry them to our grave. All Third Agers should find the faith and courage to seek the Lord for healing.
How do we help Third Agers confront their life wounds and find healing for them?
The need for transcendence
At the beginning of the 20th century there were those who believed that the ascendency of science would soon make religion obsolete. Religions were seen as prescientific or unscientific attempts to make sense of life which would no longer be needed once science was able to help us get to the truth of everything.
Well, they were wrong. Not only has there been a resurgence of the traditional religions, e.g., Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity, but all sorts of spiritualities are flourishing. Increasingly there are those who claim no adherence to any religion, but a closer look will reveal the sprouting and flourishing of interest in all sorts of spiritual practices. As a number of sociologists have noted, there is deeply rooted in the human psyche, a hunger for transcendence, a refusal to believe that the totality of life is in only what we can see and touch.
Followers of Christ will know that we were created by God and that our hearts will find no home till we find our home in God our Father and our Friend. Our Third Age is perhaps the best time to reaffirm and strengthen our relationship with the Lord.
In our earlier stages of life we had to invest a lot of our bandwidth into studies, work, and family. But in our Third Age many of us will have more time to reflect on meaning and faith. And the existential wakeup call that comes with the realisation that we are much closer to the date of our death than the date of our birth should spur us to relook at our relationship with God and indeed grow deeper in our walk with Him.
How do we help Third Agers confirm and strengthen their relationship with God?
I have decided to do a reflection on Third Agers and death in a separate essay. For now, we see that any ministry with seniors must take seriously their needs for community, purpose, healing, and God.
