Fourthly, forgiveness is necessary. This side of the second coming of Jesus Christ, even the best of friends, the holiest of friends, hurt each other. Perhaps it’s a careless word spoken out of a sense of familiarity when you let your guard down. Or not being there when the other person needed you. Or simply not giving the relationship the time and attention it required.
Silly as these might sound, the closer you get to someone, the easier it is to hurt someone. Sin is real, but so is the grace of forgiveness. In Matthew 18:21–22, Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In Colossians 3:13, Paul tells the church, “… as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Fifthly, treasure the friends who are truly friends. I must admit that as I get older, it feels harder to make friends. Perhaps it’s because I’m more set in my ways. Perhaps it’s because time is of the essence. Perhaps there is just less of an appetite to discover new things. However, I’ve also come to realise how much of life is a gift that we do not deserve. I’ve begun to realise that friendship is truly a gift. Those friends who stick with you through thick and thin, who put up with you, and who still have time to grab a Kopi O with you. To treasure them is to be thankful, and to be thankful is to see and taste the goodness of God.
Sixthly, cultivate friendship with the friend of sinners. In Matthew 11:19 and Luke 7:34, Jesus is called the friend of sinners. And in John 15:15, Jesus Himself calls us friends. That is a staggering thing! The creator of the universe and the redeemer of humanity stoops down to call us friends. And He shows the extent of His friendship by laying His life down for us (John 15:13).
Even the best of friends will let us down, and even the best of friends we will need to part with at some point. Only Jesus never lets us down; only Jesus will always and ever be with us. Only Jesus knows us to our very core and still says, “I give my life for you still …” As we cultivate our friendship with Jesus through Word, prayer, community, and yes, even spiritual friendship, bringing the presence of Jesus to one another through our presence, that in turn gives us the ballast, the emotional sturdiness, the ability to be vulnerable yet strong, to be a true spiritual friend to others.
So, may we love and may we laugh, and may we lead one another to the friend of all friends, Jesus Christ, through our simple and yet wise offer of friendship to one another.
Tze is the Lead Pastor of One Covenant Church.