A couple of Sundays ago, Soo Inn preached at a church we were visiting for the first time. We tend to sit in front but at the side when it’s our first time… in front because we’re usually ushered there; at the side because it’s our first time and we’re a little unsure. So there I was, seated by the wall, and as we waited for the service to begin, I noticed the conspicuous red cabinet for the manual fire hose reel that was right beside me. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one within a church sanctuary before. What caught my eye was the sign on the cabinet:
FIRE HOSE REEL
Turn on the inlet valve
before running out the hose
Which puzzled me to no end because I imagined that turning on the inlet valve would mean flooding the hose with water… even before one had unrolled the hose! My ignorant layperson’s mind was imagining a scene of someone trying desperately to pull out the hose quickly enough to outrun the fast “burgeoning” hose as the water filled it up. Some Googling later educated me on the mechanics of using the fire hose. There is a nozzle attached to the head of the hose which can be turned on or off, so my imagined scenes of serpentine mayhem are unlikely to happen. Also, imagine rolling out metres and metres of hose to get to the source of the fire only to discover that there’s no water to spray at it because…wait for this…the inlet valve had not been turned on! Aha moment for me, that was.
So, education aside, it also got me thinking about what Jesus said in John 15:
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. (John 15:5?8 NIV)
It’s all about being connected to the source.
Growing up, I prided myself on being able to do things for myself, and my usual mantra was (and still is) “We live and learn”. And it wasn’t just about doing things for myself. It was about doing them as perfectly as possible. Okay, if you’re reading between the lines, you’re right…I was a control freak. Then, God in His mercy took so many things out of my control, I was forced to learn to depend on Him. That’s when the inlet valve was opened and the water began to flow, Living Water, that is.
When you’re a perfectionist, being judgemental is also par for the course. How can I love myself, or my neighbour for that matter, when mere mortals will persist in being less than perfect? Funnily enough, I was more willing to accept imperfection in others than I was in myself. Don’t think I was very much connected to the Vine which was trying to tell me that I was loved for who I was. So bearing fruit by loving others was one tough call. And it often felt like I was running on empty. Reminded me of what Gordon MacDonald said when he felt himself running dry:
It was a most miserable moment, a scary one for a youthful pastor. And one of those times when I determined I would never be caught with an empty soul when others needed spiritual resource.
I came to see that I owed my congregation a filled-up soul. (A Resilient Life. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2004, p. 191.)
A little later in the John 15 passage, we read:
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. (vv. 9?14)
It doesn’t come naturally for many of us to love unconditionally, as God does us. We can only do it when we abide in His love?when we remind ourselves daily of how much we have been forgiven and how much love we have received, unmerited love. I’m writing all this as a reminder to myself, of course. My husband(s), sons, friends and colleagues have had to suffer my less-than-perfect judgemental self. When God pulled the rug from under me, He helped me to rebuild my life from the inside out, and this time with the branch firmly connected to the Vine.
So my prayer, for both you and me, is aptly summed up by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians:
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge?that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14?19 NIV)
Then we can begin to be the transformed, loving communities that will go on to change the world.
And don’t forget to turn on the inlet valve!