They laughed and yelled as they teased one another. They looked like a bunch of teenagers. Their average age: 50. Many were very senior in their chosen fields. For four days, they were just old friends, many of whom had not met up in a long time. Last weekend I had the joy of being part of a CCF (College and Career Fellowship) reunion in Ipoh. The CCF was a ministry I helped start in the early ’90s, when I had the privilege of pastoring First Baptist Church, Petaling Jaya. I recognised that the transition from tertiary education to working life was a critical one and followers of Jesus needed relevant support and teaching to make that transition well. We started with a few members. The ministry grew and flourished even after I had left the pastorate of the church. This weekend was when many of us reconnected for the first time, after 20 or 30 years. There were 85 of us.
To use a cliché, it seemed that time had not passed, except for more white hair and more adipose tissue. Why were folks able to pick up their connections so easily? For a few reasons. One, it was a testament to the quality of the friendships that were forged then. These were friendships that had been formed in a time of many life transitions — being baptised, starting work, marriage, etc. These powerful life changes helped bond them together. The second reason why they picked up their relationships so easily was the fact that it gets harder to make good friends as we get older. With increasing responsibilities that come with the passing of the years, we have less bandwidth to build close friendships. Meeting old, good friends meant that there wasn’t the need to start afresh. We could connect building on pre-existing foundations.
It wasn’t just laughter and fun. Thirty years is more than enough time to accumulate failures, tragedies, hurts, regrets, and guilt. There were also many quiet conversations where old friends helped each other process their lives. We cried together. We prayed together. I am not sure what people were expecting, coming to the reunion, but many were ambushed by God and experienced healing.
There was also encouragement to discern how one could steward one’s life in the present and reflect on how the Lord would have us live going forward. I suspect the reunion helped many process their past, steward the present, and plan for the future. You can plan for a retreat but encounters with the Lord are gifts from Him.
One of the highlights of the retreat was the Sunday worship. Usually, when I am the speaker at a camp I get to preach and lead the Lord’s Supper. This time, I had no duties whatsoever. None. I sat somewhere at the back. The “kids” did everything, from leading worship, preaching, leading in the Lord’s Supper, etc.; everything. I wasn’t needed at all. And I was so happy and proud. The kids had grown up! Well, they had grown up a long time ago.
On a personal level I was deeply touched by the warmth of the welcome I received. There were some I didn’t know personally, those who joined after I had left the church. Many recounted how I had baptised them, conducted their weddings, etc. I knew I wouldn’t have the time to sit down and have proper conversations with all of them, much as I wanted to. I appreciated the chats I did manage to have. I trust that in the life to come there will no longer be limitations of time and space.
The weekend touched so many that there is already talk of another reunion in 2030. Is this of the Lord? Is this just post-camp euphoria? We’ll see. Probably not all will be there for one reason or another. Some have already left us and gone ahead to be with the Lord. One consolation: friendships in the Lord are forever.
