I am on a mission to thank the friends who stood by me in my darkest moments. Those of you who know me will know of my ten black years, a period that started with the death of my first wife from cancer and ended with a journey through clinical depression, with a broken marriage and the loss of most of my public ministry in between. This was many years ago and I am in a good place now. But I never forgot that black period and I never forgot the friends who stood by me during that period. As time passes, I want to be sure to thank those friends who stood by me when many kept their distance. I especially want to thank those “lights in my darkness” that I haven’t seen in a while.
I was able to do some of that this past weekend when I was in Klang. I had the privilege to do some teaching on spiritual friendship with Highpointe Life Church. I first knew them when they were Bethany Chapel. When many churches kept their distance, Stephen Mohan and the leaders of the church invited me to minister with them. When Bernice and I were married they welcomed us both warmly. Because of Covid and other commitments, I haven’t been back with them for almost ten years. They used to regularly invite me back to teach but, apart from one recorded session during the Covid pandemic, I have not had any ministry with them since.
It was so good to be back. It gave me much joy to see old friends again. Of course a lot has happened in my life and theirs since we last met in person. Still, the key leaders were there, together with many folk that I do remember. I took the opportunity to thank the church and her leaders for their gracious friendship in my dark period.
The other person I wanted to see in Klang was Pastor Jerry Eng and his dear wife Vun. Pastor Jerry was, for the longest time, pastor of Klang Baptist Church. He was also pastor of Balai Baptis Damansara Utama (BBDU), a church I belonged to in the midst of my problems. He and the chairman of BBDU, Nehemiah Lee, took concrete steps to oversee my restoration.
As fellow pastors in the Klang Valley, Pastor Jerry always showed me kindness. When I moved down to Singapore, he gave me an open invitation—whenever I was in town I could take the Klang Baptist Church pulpit that Sunday. Often that meant that he would surrender his pulpit so I could speak. He said that he wanted me to bless his church. Looking back, I realise it was I who was blessed and healed by this gesture at a time when my sense of self-worth was in the pits.
I also met another old friend, Soon Meng, who still serves as administrator at Klang Baptist Church (Pastor Jerry has long since retired). It was very good to catch up with him. It has been too long. Soon Meng drove me to visit Pastor Jerry and Vun. He did warn me there was the possibility that Pastor Jerry may have forgotten me. He was going down a path where he was beginning to forget things.
I was relieved and overjoyed when, as I approached Pastor Jerry’s front gate, he raised one arm and called out my name! I had a lovely visit with Jerry and Vun. I told him about the many times he had stood by me and helped me in my dark period. He said he had forgotten most of it. I said I remember, and thanked him for his gracious care. And although he couldn’t remember most of the goodness he had shown me, he seemed genuinely pleased to see an old friend. I was so happy to see him again this side of heaven. In truth, I do not know when I will be in Klang again and whether we will meet again in this life or the next. But last Saturday we fellowshipped over a bak kut teh (pork rib soup) lunch. It was a foretaste of heaven.
I do not read or write Chinese (Mandarin) but I was told that my name means “thinking of/remembering grace”. My mother was fluent in Chinese and she had chosen my name. It turned out to be prophetic. I remember the abundant grace I have received from God and the generous grace I have received from my friends. I am on a mission to thank the friends who were lights in my darkness. Realistically, I will have to thank some of them in the life to come. In the meantime, I will do what I can.
