Cafergot: “the proprietary name of a medication consisting of ergotamine 939248_startrate and caffeine. This combination is used for the treatment of vascular headaches, such as migraine headache.” (Wikipedia)

The cafergot tablets in my medicine pouch are fast approaching their expiry date. I have taken them maybe three times the past six years. It used to be much worse. I have had periodic headaches since young. I took the usual painkillers, which helped only a little. It was much later that I discovered that I suffered from migraine headaches. So I always had painkillers and cafergot tablets (and Tiger Balm) close at hand. At the first sign of a migraine headache I would take my meds and go lie down. It usually worked. So for ever so long I always had cafergot tables in my medicine pouch. But as I said, I have only needed them about three times the past six years. What happened? Why the change? Six years ago I married Bernice.

It’s been six years since our wedding at the Trinity Theological College chapel. We used to tell folks that we were newly weds. I guess we can’t do that anymore. As we move into our seventh year of marriage, I pause to thank God for bringing Bernice and me together. She has brought so much joy and healing into my life. Friends who know me from before can testify to this. I have been so blessed by her but I often feel that it was a bad deal for her. She tries to convince me otherwise. But I know the truth. In her love I experience in very concrete ways, the love of God.

When I lived in Petaling Jaya, we had Dr Chan of FT Wong Clinic in Taman Megah as our family doctor. There was a time when my cholesterol level and my blood sugar level were borderline, dangerously close to unhealthy levels. (I was a single father at the time.) Dr. Chan said that there was a treatment that would really help me. He said he would like to prescribe me a good wife. “So simple meh?” I said. One can’t just bring a prescription for a good wife to the pharmacy and get one. A good wife is a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14). And that is precisely what the Lord has given me.

Bernice and I met at the 2003 Eagles Leadership Conference in Singapore. I had been invited to lead a workshop. I also took the opportunity to look for a Christian publisher in Singapore to publish a second collection of my commentaries. A mutual friend recommended Armour Publishing and introduced me to Bernice, one of the founding directors. I was looking for an editor/publisher. The Lord was fulfilling Dr Chan’s prescription. (Bernice has since left Armour and we now run Graceworks, another joyful product of our partnership.)

I know many Christian friends who want to get married and who would make excellent life partners, but for some reason they can’t seem to find a suitable life partner. I have no answer as to why the Lord seems to ignore their prayers. I can only speak from my own experience. Finally I had to learn to trust the Lord for my life and seek to be complete in Christ, married or single. If a suitable spouse is truly a gift, I have to trust the Lord for the if, whom, and when. This side of heaven there are no guarantees that we will get all the things we want. Some things have to await the new heaven and the new earth.

But my purpose today is not to give an answer as to why God does not give a spouse to all who want one. My purpose today is to thank the Lord for bringing Bernice into my life. As Gail Stevens said once, in bringing Bernice into my life, God blessed me “big time.” Amen and amen. Maybe it’s time to throw away the Cafergot.