We were driving back from Good FridayPondering service this morning when the message came. A good friend’s wife had passed away. She had fought her cancer with courage and faith, surrounded by a family and a church community that fought alongside her. And now we will no longer see her this side of heaven. If anyone deserved a miracle, she did. Sometimes I really don’t understand your decisions, God.

And what about Karpal Singh? He was a man, and therefore he had his strengths and weaknesses. But what a man. He served as an opposition politician long before the opposition had made any real inroads into the Malaysian political scene. Here was a patriot who fought for a better Malaysia and paid a heavy price in doing so. His was the loudest voice reminding us that Malaysia was essentially a secular state, with Islam as the official religion; that Malaysia wasn’t an Islamic state. We need his voice more than ever with the ongoing threat of Islamic conservatism seeking to change the very fabric of our nation. And now that voice is stilled. What are you up to God? If you wanted some politicians to die, I would have been pleased to give some suggestions. But Karpal? Now?

And don’t get me started on the young students who perished on the South Korean ferry that sank. The sms messages sent out by some of the students before they perished will break your heart.

“This might be the last chance to say I love you,” one student named as Shin Young-Jin is reported to have texted his mother.

“Why’s that,” his mother texted back, clearly unaware of the crisis engulfing the vessel. “I love you anyway.”

At times like these, I can fully empathise with Job when he wanted so badly to get an audience with God. Here was a righteous man who had seen his life fall apart, including the death of his children. He too wondered what God was up to. He too was seeking answers.

Then Job replied:

‘Even today my complaint is bitter;
his handis heavy in spite ofmy groaning.
If only I knew where to find him;
if only I could go to his dwelling!
I would state my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
I would find out what he would answer me,
and consider what he would say to me.
Would he vigorously oppose me with great power?
No, he would not press charges against me.
There the upright can establish their innocence before him,
and there I would be delivered forever from my judge.

(Job 23:1-7 NIV)

If you could have a face-to-face meeting with God today, what would you say to Him? Why Mag? Why Karpal? Why those South Korean kids drowning in terror?

In Job’s case, God did show up. But He gave Job no answers. Essentially He asked Job who was smarter.

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

‘Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

‘Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone –
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

(Job 38:1-7 NIV)

The Lord said to Job:

‘Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!’

Then Job answered the Lord:

‘I am unworthy – how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
I spoke once, but I have no answer –
twice, but I will say no more.’

Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm:

‘Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

‘Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

(Job 40:1-8 NIV)

Here then is God’s word to Job and to us. We are in no position to judge God’s actions. Whatever our pain and confusion, we have to deal with a holy God who is all knowing, all wise, and all loving. We can assume that He does not make mistakes but even if He did we would be in no position to judge. And really, God does not answer to us.

But on each Good Friday, we also recall that God did something we never expected. He showed up in human history, showed us how to live, and then died on our behalf that we might truly live. I didn’t see that coming. Did you? Paul reminds us:

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:31a–32 NIV)

On this Good Friday, I grieve. I have many questions. But because of Good Friday, and Easter, I choose to trust.